Importance of Friendship
Read the article that appeared in the June 2022 edition of Front Porch Magazine:
Each month I try to share with you a glimpse into the friendships being formed through Mental Health America of Fredericksburg’s Senior Visitors Program. In the past 20+ years the Senior Visitors Program has worked to alleviate the loneliness and isolation too many seniors experience by connecting them with a volunteer visitor. Having friends and connections within our community is so important to our overall well-being and resiliency.
In April the Senior Visitors Program hosted a luncheon to honor our volunteers who have individually given over 500 hours of service. Many of these volunteers have been with the program since its early years. Their dedication says a lot about them – but also about the important work of the Senior Visitors Program.
In their own words, here’s why they feel the Senior Visitors Program is important:
The Senior Visitors Program is important because if fills a gap between the random friend or relation who may or may not be available at regular times and the professional whose work is not free, will be much less regularly available, [and is] certainly not just [there] to say hello and spend some quality time. Like most volunteer service, both the server and the served benefit. – Dan
The program is important because there are so many lonely and disconnected older people in our community. It’s amazing how much encouragement a hug or phone call brings. – Joyce
Senior Visitors benefits the volunteers and the seniors in equal measure. Learning about each other’s history, backgrounds, and cultures, helps to enrich our lives. This program has brought someone into my life that has helped me see the bigger picture. – Steve
We need each other – to keep involved, informed, and feeling needed. Senior Visitors Program allows us to give of ourselves and help others at the same time. – Judy
The Senior Visitors program creates a lifeline for a senior population who for various reasons, has reached a point in their lives where they are disconnected and perhaps lonely. The socialization and affirmation we volunteers offer, help to normalize their lives and make living more pleasant. – Laura
The program is so important because it brings human contact to people who cannot get out or have no one. It is also very satisfying to the volunteer. It is not always easy, [yet] it is very rewarding emotionally. – Maria
I shall pass through this world but once, therefore, any kindness that I can do, I do now. I am “needed” and it’s my pleasure too. Everybody needs somebody and Joyce and I have each other now. – Barbara
I’ve met some wonderful people. – Richard
The thing that is important about this program [is] friendship, caring, and giving. – Pat
When asked why the senior visitor program is important my mind went directly to a Beatles lyric: “All the lonely people, where do they all come from?” In a world overcrowded with people, it seems a tragedy that anyone should be lonely. Since seniors have difficulty reaching out to others, they desperately need someone to come to them. In reaching out to help another, I found a friend and a purpose. How rewarding! – Lisa
I wish a whole lot more people could experience this and see through the eyes of a senior. – Janice
Laurie Black is the Senior Visitors Program Coordinator at Mental Health America of Fredericksburg.
If you know a senior who could benefit from having a weekly, friendly visit or if you would like to volunteer to visit a senior, call the Senior Visitors Program at (540) 371-2704 or visit our website at mhafred.org to download volunteer or senior applications. The Senior Visitors Program is a free community service program of Mental Health America of Fredericksburg.
Mindfulness as a Tool for Self-Care
Read the article that appeared in the June 2022 edition of Front Porch Magazine:
Nowadays, we often think of self-care as doing something for ourselves that feels comfortable and easy – like lighting an expensive candle, putting on our coziest sweatpants, and settling into bed to watch Netflix. But true self-care isn’t always that simple.
Truly caring for ourselves is not just a having a chill night in – it’s more than that. And dare I say that self-care is even, at times, difficult, uncomfortable, and challenging?
This is the second story of a series in which I delve into what authentic self-care is by having conversations with local mental health professionals listed in Mental Health America of Fredericksburg’s HELPLINE resource.
Recently I spoke with Alison Sullivan, LCSW, one of the local therapists listed in Mental Health America of Fredericksburg’s HELPLINE resource. She is the owner of Alison Sullivan & Associates, an integrative mental health practice located on Lafayette Blvd in Fredericksburg.
When I asked Alison to define self-care, she replied: “Self-care from a mental health perspective is related to actions and activities that cultivate and nurture a harmonic sense of wellbeing – whether that’s physical, emotional, relational, psychological, financial, etc.”
Alison believes that self-care involves both comfort and challenge. She says that self-care involves “actively taking a risk on behalf of what you need.” Not all self-care feels comfortable in the moment. For example, it can be difficult to have a hard conversation with a loved one, but that form of emotional and relational self-care is ultimately nurturing when we lean into that discomfort.
Self-care can take many forms. Mindfulness is a valuable practice that teaches us self-love and acceptance. Alison explains: “Mindfulness allows you to acknowledge what you’re feeling and regulate those feelings so they don’t prevent you from going where you want to go.”
At its core, mindfulness is simple. For people who want to try this practice as part of their self-care routine, Alison suggests starting with this: “Be with yourself in the moment and connect with your breath.” For anyone interested in exploring mindfulness in more depth, Alison created an online course called Mindfulness 101, which you can find on her website, alisonsintegrativehealth.org.
MHAfred maintains an extensive list of local mental health providers that we call the HELPLINE. We keep track of the services offered in the area, insurances accepted, and new client availability. If you are looking for a local mental health provider or want to learn more about MHAfred’s programs, call Mental Health America of Fredericksburg at (540) 371-2704 or visit our website at mhafred.org.
Anne-Tillery Melson is the Suicide Prevention Education Coordinator at Mental Health America of Fredericksburg.
Self-Care & Baseball Games
Check out MHAfred’s articles in the May 2022 edition of Front Porch Magazine!
An excerpt from “Authentic Self-Care”:
Dr. Jerome defines self-care using her background in attachment: “I think of self-care as the caretaking relationship we have with ourselves. As kids, we have a caregiver; but as adults, we are our own caregiver. I think [self-care] is about my relationship with myself as a caregiver.”
An excerpt from “Take Me Out to the Ball Game”:
Steve said of his volunteer service, “It’s all about giving of yourself to another person. We all need “a buddy”. It is nice to have someone to give time to and I have time to give. I get a lot of satisfaction out of volunteering. I learn a lot from Tim and Tim has a lot to share.”
Take Me Out to the Ball Game
Read the article that appeared in the May 2022 Edition of Front Porch Magazine.
I recently had the pleasure of meeting with Steve D’Lugos and his friend, Tim, as they sat down to their weekly visit and card game.
Steve volunteers with Mental Health America of Fredericksburg’s Senior Visitors Program. Steve was introduced to the Senior Visitors Program through his wife and daughter who also volunteer with the program. Steve began visiting with Tim last autumn.
Steve said of his volunteer service, “It’s all about giving of yourself to another person. We all need “a buddy”. It is nice to have someone to give time to and I have time to give. I get a lot of satisfaction out of volunteering. I learn a lot from Tim and Tim has a lot to share.” Tim said of Steve, “He is the first real person I’ve met who treats people right. He is a good, generous person who tells the truth.” Tim then joked, “That’s why I haven’t thrown him out yet.”
“Tim has a great personality. He loves to joke and kid me,” Steve replied. “He teases me that I cheat at cards, but really, I have to keep my eye on him.”
Steve went on to say, “Tim is a veteran who served his country well and deserves the best. Tim is fun to spend time with and a pleasure to visit.”
As it turns out, both Tim and Steve are veterans. Tim served in the Army and Steve served in the Marines. Regarding their service in different military branches, there was some good-natured teasing before they both assured me, “We don’t let that bother us. We enjoy visiting and sharing our experiences [from our service].”
Tim and Steve meet weekly, usually playing a game of hearts. Occasionally they like to go for a drive. Once they went for a drive out to the Tappahannock area. They are hoping this spring to attend a baseball game.
Tim showed me his Fred Nats Game Schedule and explained, “I’m trying to walk more and prepare myself so Steve can take me to a game.”
I hope these friends will soon get their day at the ballpark, and I hope they can continue to enjoy their card games and visits for a long time to come.
If you would like to volunteer to visit a senior, or you know a senior who could benefit from having a weekly, friendly visit, call the Senior Visitors Program at (540) 371-2704 or visit our website at mhafred.org. The Senior Visitors Program is a free community service program of Mental Health America of Fredericksburg.
Laurie Black is the Senior Visitors Program Coordinator at Mental Health America of Fredericksburg.
Authentic Self-Care
Read the article that appeared in the May 2022 Edition of Front Porch Magazine.
Self-care is a buzz word these days. Everywhere we look it seems a different business is plugging their product all for the name of self-care – wear these silk pajamas, buy this fancy bath bomb, treat yourself to dessert at our restaurant – but what is true self-care?
This is the first story of a series in which I delve into what authentic self-care is by having conversations with local mental health professionals listed in Mental Health America of Fredericksburg’s HELPLINE resource.
Recently I spoke with Dr. Elisabeth Jerome, Owner and Director of Wellspring Child & Family Psychology. Wellspring has been serving families in the Fredericksburg area with their behavioral health services since 2014.
Dr. Jerome defines self-care using her background in attachment: “I think of self-care as the caretaking relationship we have with ourselves. As kids, we have a caregiver; but as adults, we are our own caregiver. I think [self-care] is about my relationship with myself as a caregiver.”
The way in which we talk to ourselves is integral to building healthy self-care practices, according to Dr. Jerome. When I asked her to share a self-care tip, she said, “Start to notice your internal dialogue. If you notice that you are talking to yourself in a way that you would not talk to someone you love, then that probably is a good indication that your self-talk is a little distorted or unbalanced.”
Everyone can use a little more self-care in their lives. But sometimes self-care is not enough. If you or someone you know is experiencing mental health challenges, extra support may be necessary. Help can come in a variety of ways, such as counseling or support groups.
Twice a year, Wellspring partners with Mental Health America of Fredericksburg (MHAfred) to provide a free psychoeducational support group for teens. I asked Dr. Jerome what she thinks is special about this partnership. She shared, “The teen group is one of my favorite services we offer. I’m a firm believer that everyone’s mental health affects everyone in the community. Making services accessible to all people is so important.”
MHAfred maintains an extensive list of local mental health providers that we call the HELPLINE. We keep track of the services offered in the area, insurances accepted, and new client availability. If you are looking for a local mental health provider or want to learn more about MHAfred’s programs, call Mental Health America of Fredericksburg at (540) 371-2704 or visit our website at mhafred.org.
Anne-Tillery Melson is the Suicide Prevention Education Coordinator at Mental Health America of Fredericksburg.